A while ago, the police stopped me at a motorway service station. They wanted to search my boot for drugs. The reason: I\u2019d got out of the car, bouncing about happily, and in this country, anyone who\u2019s happy is treated with suspicion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It had all been triggered by a dream I\u2019d had the night before. I\u2019d dreamt that I was jealous of myself. When I woke up, I had to laugh. What an absurd thought. But it stuck with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then I went on to think: if I\u2019d had a different life \u2013 a childhood in the city, for example, or in another country \u2013 there would be many things I\u2019d envy. The garden of my childhood. My grandmother. The education I was lucky enough to receive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
During a long car journey, I found myself listing the things I might envy if this weren\u2019t my own life. With every kilometre, my gratitude and joy grew. At the next service station, I hopped out of the car so cheerfully that the police thought I looked suspicious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The idea is simple, and that is precisely why it works. Ask yourself: What would I envy about myself if I didn\u2019t have it? Or: What might others envy about me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That\u2019s not sugar-coating things. You\u2019re deliberately choosing to ignore the difficulties for a moment and focusing only on what\u2019s there. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Take your time: a long car or train journey, or a long walk. Find at least 100 things that enrich your life. Things you might envy if it weren\u2019t your own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you like, take some time afterwards to give thanks. To people, to God, to life, and even to yourself for everything you\u2019ve contributed to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This question takes things a step further: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
What would I like to have, but can\u2019t yet because I don\u2019t have it at the moment?
Perhaps you\u2019re longing for a nicer place to live with a garden. For more fulfilling relationships. Or for a different job or voluntary role where you can make better use of your strengths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then ask yourself: Is this really important to me? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
If so, start planning what you can do to build that life. Often, more is possible than you might initially think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The effect is not just a momentary sense of well-being. In a widely cited study, psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough found that the study cited<\/a> A group would write down what they were grateful for each week. Other studies have also found a link with better sleep and lower stress levels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So this effect is not merely a nice way of lifting people\u2019s spirits, but one of the most thoroughly researched tools in positive psychology for mental and physical wellbeing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes it\u2019s not the big things that matter at all, but rather building a good life overall. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If, whilst thinking about this exercise, you realise that you feel you want to steer your life in a new direction but aren\u2019t quite sure where, you don\u2019t have to figure it out on your own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A second group, by contrast, wrote down the things that bothered them. After several weeks, the gratitude group reported feeling more positive, more optimistic and having a greater zest for life than the control group. <\/p>\n\n\n\nIf you\u2019d like more support <\/h2>\n\n\n\n