{"id":4558,"date":"2017-08-18T12:22:10","date_gmt":"2017-08-18T10:22:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kerstinpur.de\/?p=4558"},"modified":"2025-02-04T10:25:50","modified_gmt":"2025-02-04T09:25:50","slug":"book-tip-fulfilling-needs-happy-who-has-four-ways","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kerstinhack.de\/en\/buchtipp-beduerfnisse-erfuellen-gluecklich-wer-vier-wege-hat\/","title":{"rendered":"Fulfilling needs: Happy is he who has four ways"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Book tip of the week for anyone who wants to find more than one way to fulfil their needs<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

In Coaching discussions<\/a> I often hear: \u201eMy partner (or boyfriend or boss or girlfriend\/chef\/mum) is too quiet. Too passive. Doesn't give enough compliments, etc.\u201c <\/em><\/p>\n

As a coach, I listen behind the scenes: I have a need, e.g. for appreciation, relief, etc., that the other person does not fulfil.<\/p>\n

I can feel the anger, annoyance or helplessness that this triggers in my coaching guests. They only see one way to get the need fulfilled: The other person should do something. If this path is blocked because the other person doesn't want to (which is their right), then you really are helpless.<\/p>\n

Unless you are creative enough to find many different ways to fulfil your own needs. I found lots of ideas for this in a book:<\/p>\n

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\n
\"COach<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Talane Miedaner: Coach yourself, otherwise no one will love you<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/h4>\n<\/div>\n
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I would rather call the book: Take good care of yourself and invite others to do good for you too. Develop ways to fulfil your own needs. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Because it is a<\/span>inspiring book that can help you recognise your own needs and then find ways to fulfil them - either by taking care of them yourself or by asking other people for support.<\/span><\/p>\n

For many needs, she herself lists a whole range of ideas on how to fulfil them. Not everything is suitable for everyone, but her lists provide a variety of suggestions.<\/p>\n

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<\/div>\n
A weak point:<\/strong> <\/span><\/div>\n

In some places I find her definition of needs somewhat confused and unclear: being right, for example, is just as much a need as being loved. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"Kerstin<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

In the Non-violent communication <\/a>would rather be defined as a (learnt) strategy to fulfil a real need, e.g. autonomy\/security. In my Quado Nonviolent Communication<\/a> I list the basic human needs.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Overall, the inspiring and creative ideas she has to fulfil needs predominate.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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<\/div>\n

I read the book a few years ago and realise that the idea that I always have at least three ways of providing for what I need frees me. If I - as a believer - also see dialogue with God and petitions to him as another option, I even have four ways. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

This realisation has taken the pressure off my relationships: When other people want to support me in fulfilling my needs, I experience this as a gift. Support from others is and remains one of my favourite strategies.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

If they can't or don't want to give me the gift of appreciation, support or warmth (because they are busy with their own needs), that's okay too. Then I can calmly find other ways. Talane Miedaner's book provides lots of good suggestions.<\/p>\n

\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Buchtipp der Woche f\u00fcr alle, die mehr als einen Weg finden wollen, ihre Bed\u00fcrfnisse zu erf\u00fcllen In Coaching-Gespr\u00e4chen h\u00f6re ich oft: „Mein Partner (oder Freund oder Chef oder…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4568,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"Bed\u00fcrfnisse erf\u00fcllen ","_seopress_titles_desc":"Man muss kreativ sein, um viele verschiedene Wege zu finden die eigenen Bed\u00fcrfnisse zu erf\u00fcllen. 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