Beginnings

Viktor Herzl, the great father of Zionism and a committed campaigner in favour of a separate state for the Jews, wrote in his diary after the Zionist Congress in Basel in 1897: "If I summarise the Basel Congress in one word - which I will be careful not to utter in public - it is this: in Basel I founded the Jewish state. If I said that out loud today, I would be met with universal laughter: perhaps in five years, or at least in fifty, everyone will realise it."

It would actually take a good 50 years before Israel was actually founded on 14 May 1948. What fascinates me is his visionary appreciation of small beginnings.

I recently spoke to a friend about a behaviour in me that I would like to change. Nothing "bad", but rather an almost automatic reaction to certain circumstances. Every "automatic" behaviour takes away the freedom to feel, react and behave differently. We talked about it intensively, tried to understand and get to the bottom of what triggers the automatic behaviour. We haven't really solved it yet.

Then my friend told me something that gave me a lot of courage. She reminded me of a conversation many years ago in which she told me about an automatic behaviour that she herself was stuck in. I must have said a sentence back then that suddenly made her realise: "There is another way. I don't have to stay stuck in this behaviour." Breaking free from the previous thought patterns and behaviour and discovering and living other options was a long process. A rewarding one. One that has led her to much more confidence, freedom and joie de vivre.

She said it started with my sentence. I think it started earlier - with her willingness to show herself openly and say: something is hanging and crunching here. I can't cope with that - on my own.

That really touched me. I don't know how long it will take for me to change and resolve the automatic behaviour. But I'm sure that the conversation started something new. And that one day I will look back on it and be able to say: That's where it all began. And I am grateful anew that there are people to whom I can openly show my weak points: There's something here that I can't deal with. People who don't judge, but first recognise calmly: This is how it is right now. And then join me in the search for causes and solutions. What a gift!

A little book tip in passing: it is often false shame that prevents us from telling or showing others where we are stuck inside. The Quadro "Show myself. Life without false shame" gives really good help for getting rid of false shame.