Discover life - asking questions costs nothing

Was I alive today?

Yes!

Running through colourful autumn leaves and kicking them up with your feet is just lovely!h

What new things have I discovered about life?

It costs nothing to ask. My theory is that people are almost always happy to help if they have the capacity and the means to support someone else in making their life better. It’s just that often you don’t know how you can help. Or you don’t dare to ask,

Over the last few days, I’ve been asking a lot of questions:

1. The brilliant online shop Avocadostore, which sells fair-trade and beautiful items – would they like to promote our 2014 calendar over the festive season?.

– The answer: Yes, of course. And we’ve put it on the homepage straight away. 

2. A friend, to see if he’ll lend me his welder for a few days until I’ve got my own working one (the monster I’ve got on board doesn’t have the right plugs, and I’m a bit wary of learning to weld straight away with a dinosaur… no, don’t worry… I’ll just watch for now… then maybe I’ll practise very carefully out on deck)…

– Answer: Jupp

3. A sales assistant specialising in compact welding equipment – to see if I can get a discount.

– Answer: Yes! 

4. A waste water specialist (a friend’s contact) to see if he can help me plan the waste water disposal system on the boat.

– Answer: I’d be happy to. I’m more of a specialist in seepage water, but I’d be happy to have a look at it – and if I’m stuck, I’ll recommend someone who can help. 

5. My dentist, to ask if he can repair a broken mouthguard that I’ve temporarily fixed with superglue for the time being.

– Answer: Please bring the rail round on Friday. I’ll sort it out over the weekend.

6. A friend in Hamburg – could he pick up a cheap second-hand wood-burning stove for my boat in Hamburg and bring it over for me… so it’ll be cosy.

– Answer: Sure.

7. A brilliant professor and architect specialising in sustainable building, to see if he and his students would like to help with the planning.

– His assistant’s reply: The assignments for this term have already been allocated – but I passed it on to him anyway. (I slipped in a little request to my God at the end and told him that I’d think it would be absolutely brilliant if there were a way for the top professionals to support me with this!)

8. A friend, asking if I could borrow her car to transport something.

– Answer: No, I wouldn’t like that. The car is brand new and I’ve not finished paying it off yet. 

Surprisingly, another friend – without realising it – sent me an email saying: „I’d love to help you much more, but my time is very limited. It’s not really feasible for me to set aside half a day or a whole day. But I’d be more than happy to run errands for you and drive you around, pop round with some lunch now and then, or things like that, or even put up overnight guests… all sorts of things I can squeeze in here and there – I can always find an hour or two…“

9. A cobbler, to see if he could put a hole in a belt that had become too loose for me.

– Answer: OK 

I’m surprised at how keen people are to help. Of course, the fact that the ship itself will become a place where other people are helped in turn certainly plays a part in their willingness to help. Even so, it’s a huge gift. And I’m sooo grateful for all the help, big and small.

What have I learnt about myself?

It makes life so much more relaxed and enjoyable that I can now ask for things in a completely relaxed and open way. I couldn’t do that before. Back then, I sometimes expected others to already know or sense what I needed. But the thing is: they usually don’t. Or I was worried about being a burden to them and overthought what they might be thinking, or what might be weighing on them or causing them stress – without, of course, knowing whether that was actually the case. That’s why I didn’t dare to voice my requests.

These days, I generally assume that people are mature and capable of making their own decisions. I try to explain the reasons behind my request clearly and logically – in other words, to make it clear why I need help and why I’m asking them in particular. And then I leave it up to the other person to decide whether or not they want to fulfil the request. And if they say „no“ – like my friend with the car – that’s absolutely fine by me. They’re making a decision for themselves – not against me. That puts my mind at ease.

It’s nice to ask.