Your favourite life Vol. 4: About being happy, a handful of beans and dolphins

What do beans and dolphins have to do with joie de vivre? Well, you'll find out today.

This blog post deals thematically with the element of life Energy & joie de vivre" from my Swing-concept of the 8+1 elements of life.

Many people want more joie de vivre. For a long time I thought: some people are happier, others less.

And I'm probably one of those people who enjoy life more than others.

Then I discovered that it's not just to do with predisposition, but also with thought patterns and attitudes. Some people are so burdened by many things that there is little room for joie de vivre and enjoyment in their lives. They suffer from this, but have never learnt how to create space for joie de vivre and find more joy. If you want to experience joie de vivre, you need space and freedom. Inside and out. That reminds me of dolphins. Dolphins like to take risks and they love challenges as well as fun and adventure. They take up their living space. Dolphins are masters of joie de vivre.

Dolphins are wonderful role models for us. They are supple and in their element, full of joie de vivre and love. Dolphins show us how it is possible to immerse ourselves in life and be in touch with it.

I experience: When I feel the joy of life, I am in my element, like a dolphin in the water!

That is why we have chosen the colour orange and the dolphin icon for this element of life.

Every little bean gives a ... reason to be happy

An elderly lady had the habit of taking some beans with her when she started her day. She slipped them into her right jacket pocket. Whenever she experienced something special, something that made her happy, she would take a bean out of her right pocket and put it in her left pocket. 

These were not big events, she did the same with small pleasures. Over the course of the day, the odd bean would move from right to left. Sometimes two or three, sometimes more. Even if it was only one, the day was a success for the old lady. In the evening, the lady regularly emptied her left pocket and reviewed the special moments of the day with each bean. In this way, she was able to gratefully celebrate these beautiful experiences once again that day. 

Many people think that enjoying life is like gambling. Some days it works, other days it's a loser. Anyone who thinks like this makes themselves a victim of events. Joie de vivre is achievable. 

If you know which "building blocks" make up joie de vivre, you can ensure that these basic elements are present in sufficient quantities in your own life. 

Have fun discovering how you can collect a few beans of joy every day. 

How do good feelings arise?

Basically, feelings are nothing more than physical signals that tell us whether our needs are being met.

When our essential needs are met, we feel good. You can see this with small babies. If they are provided with food, closeness, dry nappies or rest, they are happy. If essential needs are not met, they cry.

It's no different for adults. Except that we don't usually scream out loud when our needs are not met - except when we scream in terror or disgust or cheer with joy at our favourite team's goal. You can't directly influence feelings. A request such as "Gosh, be happy!" will for the most part not lead to you experiencing more joy.

The desire to see happiness

Happiness research has experienced a boom in recent years. People want to find out what it takes to live a happy life. 

Research has shown that you need a ratio of 3:1. 3 positive emotions to one negative emotion. When I read this figure for the first time, I groaned inwardly. 3:1 - how is that supposed to work? Many people don't actually achieve this ratio. Their life feels miserable. 

The "3:1 people" are doing really well throughout their lives. They have high scores in areas such as self-acceptance, coping with life, strong, positive relationships, stable marriages, health, longevity, personal growth, creativity and openness. On top of that, they are nicer to their fellow human beings than the others. People with more positive emotions perform better in almost every area of life. 

It is definitely worth discovering and encouraging positive emotions.

Basically, positive emotions are nothing more than physical signals that tell us whether our needs are being met. 

You cannot directly influence feelings. A request such as "Gosh, be happy!" will not usually lead to you experiencing more joy. 

But there are a few "levers" that influence how much joy we feel.

Adjusting screws for joie de vivre

• More joie de vivre through less ballast

Ballast is a burden. Those who free themselves from ballast often quickly experience more satisfaction and joy.

• More joie de vivre through reflection 

Joy is a feeling. In order to recognise it, it is helpful to practise recognising feelings in the first place. Just like the old lady did with the beans. 

• More joie de vivre: life is outside

We experience vitality in activity and encounters. Life is outside. Where the wind blows, the waves curl, people meet, the body moves.

Is joie de vivre a type of thing?

How much joy we experience also depends on whether we know our sources of joy and how we can utilise them. 

It's no secret: people are different. But advice books often lump everyone together: do this and you'll find peace. The recipe for happiness is... If this great recipe doesn't work, you're frustrated and, in the worst case scenario, you end up blaming yourself. 

It is better, the diversity of personalities but also the fact that people are also similar in their behaviour and desires. There are various ways of describing differences in people, for example introvert - extrovert, choleric, melancholic, sanguine and phlegmatic, etc.

I myself appreciate The Enneagram as a tool, (click the link for more input) to describe different personalities. I use it here to describe different paths to joy. The first number refers to the number in the Enneagram classification. 

The personalities and how they experience joy

1 The perfectionists: They experience joy when they have done something well and correctly. (7)

2 The helpers: They feel joy when they have been able to support others. (4)

3 The winners: They are happy when they can celebrate success. (6)

4 The Romantics: They are happy when they can show their individuality. (1)

5 The researchers: They enjoy it when they can think something through thoroughly. (8)

6 The pessimists: They are happy when they feel safe and secure. (9)

7 The optimists: They love variety and new things. (5)

8 The leaders: They enjoy it when they can be strong and confident. (2)

9 The peacemakers: They enjoy it when there is harmony. (3)

One way to experience more joy is to do more of what you already enjoy doing. Another is to consciously try out other forms of joy. In brackets you will find the number of the person who is completely different from you, but whose behavioural patterns could do you good by integrating them into your life.

Discovering new things awakens joie de vivre

Travelling into the outside world can always invite you to take a journey into your inner self, which awakens joy and strengthens your life. Discovering new things makes you happy.

Experiencing something for yourself has a deeper impact on your enjoyment of life than experiences that you only get second-hand. Where you really get involved in something new, your brain is challenged. 

When you really recognise, understand and comprehend something - not just memorise stupid vocabulary - new neurons are formed in the brain. They strengthen our lives. Because this is so important, this process is rewarded with the release of happiness hormones. 

Every time you really feel something, hormones similar to those released during a sexual encounter are released. You have a little orgasm in your head, so to speak. This wonderful feeling is familiar to anyone who has ever had one of the famous "aha" experiences - or watched a child discover the world.  

So if you want to increase your zest for life and feelings of happiness, it's a good idea to embrace something new.

That is also the big difference between holidays and travelling. 

- Holidays is a time when you don't have to work and your body and soul can relax. You often eat the same food and experience very little that is truly new. (click the link for holiday impulses)

- Travelling means: you open yourself up to new places and discover something on the outside that corresponds with your inner world and shows you something new about yourself. 

Three characteristics of an explorer

- VentureHe approaches the strange and new and tries out encounters, dances, movements, meals, items of clothing, etc. that were previously unfamiliar to him. 

- SurpriseHe accepts and enjoys the fact that not everything can be planned. 

- MindfulnessHe cultivates the ability to look closely at the outside and inside. For example, he asks himself: What do I feel and experience? What does that tell me about myself?

Whenever it is financially and time-wise possible, we recommend travelling to other regions. But even in your own neighbourhood you can Discoverer (click on the link for impulses) by practising noticing things and allowing them to touch and speak to you.

Finding happiness in everyday life

Gretchen Rubin spent a year reading various books and studies on happiness and then tried out what works in a self-experiment. In the book The Happiness Project she describes the results.

She found happiness through, among other things:

More energy, actively practising love and cultivating relationships, higher goale, practising serenity, playing, cultivating friendships, buying beautiful things, thinking about eternity, practising a passion, practising mindfulness, practising contentment, abandoning perfectionism, ...

It's not so much about great happiness, but rather about increasing the moments of happiness in everyday life. Why?

One of the most beautiful exercises that I myself know for feeling and practising being alive and enjoying life is a variation of the Spiritual Exercises by Ignatius of Loyola. 

At the end of the day, you ask yourself: 

If you practise this alone or perhaps with your partner or friends on a regular basis, you will become better and better at recognising what takes away or gives joy in life. 

Over time, you can then actively steer yourself to practise more of the activities and attitudes that make you happy and less of those that do not bring you joy. 

"I'm doing my duty, but I've lost the joy of life!"

If you sometimes feel like this, then learn three simple ways to get back to ...

• To feel joy,
• to experience joy and
• Sharing joy.

Webinar: Finding joie de vivre. Three steps to more fulfilment

How can you organise your week so that you get all your work done and still have enough space for creativity, relationships, rest and pure life? This book provides answers based on the story of creation - and shows ways to lead a fulfilled and balanced life.

Swing. Your life in balance | Kerstin Hack

The swing balance concept 

click on the graphic for an enlarged view

The element of life "Energy & joie de vivre" belongs to my Swing-concept: The most beautiful and profound thing I have ever developed for a holistically good life. While the other concepts strongly separate the individual areas of life from each other, the Swing-Concept the basic human needs that are important for a balanced life: 

The special feature of the Swing-Concept is that while it is important for a fulfilled life that all elements are present in life, it doesn't matter where and how you live them out. 

Whether vision and creativity unfold at work or in leisure time is not so important - the main thing is that they find space in life at all.

Online you can do a test herewhich element of life is currently being neglected.

Here you can read an entertaining summary about Swing read in the blog.