Discovering life: Now more than ever

Image038Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new things have I discovered about life?

Nothing really new: life can sometimes be quite exhausting and full of struggles. Some battles you win, some you lose. Nothing new there. And when you (seemingly) lose battles, it’s painful. Over the last few months, I’ve shared in the suffering, the anxiety and the prayers of a friend whose grandson was born seriously ill. Today he has passed away from this world. Earlier, whilst out for a walk through the allotments, as I was praying for his parents and grandmother, I felt that God was saying to me on their behalf: „The struggle was not in vain.“ I don’t know what that means. And I don’t want to console anyone with empty words either. Still, that’s how I felt. I believe that doing everything in one’s power to ensure that life goes on is truly not in vain… even if it doesn’t bring about the outcome we’d all hoped for… that they might share a long life together here on earth.

What new things have I discovered about myself?

This phase is incredibly stressful for me right now. Illness and staff absences. Delays. Lumbago and pain, which have flared up again over the last few days. Worrying about Bernd. A thousand decisions to be made regarding the ship, all of which are interlinked. Keeping track of all the details is definitely not my strong point – at least not yet. At the weekend, two people blessed me with this gift, so that this ability might also develop within me. As a human being – created in God’s image – I possess this ability, at least to some extent. And it can certainly develop further.

Even so, all of this is really pushing me to the limits of what I can cope with. There are times when I just find it all awful and suffer in silence. Or even out loud. And then there are moments when something clicks inside me. That’s what happened on Sunday evening. I saw difficulties and challenges stretching almost endlessly ahead. And instead of just feeling sad about it and letting myself get discouraged, I thought: Now more than ever!

Now more than ever

  • – I want to get stuck into it
  • – I want to believe that God is with me
  • – I want to believe that there is a way
  • – I hope, believe and pray
  • – I want to carry on.

Now more than ever – not because it’s easy. It certainly isn’t. But because it’s the right thing to do. And it’s worth it. Even – and especially – in the face of difficulties. 

Now more than ever!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. I was in a similar situation once.
    The word God gave me at that time was „unacceptable“.
    It helped me in the fight. Maybe it’ll help you too.
    Kind regards,
    Jens

  2. I got goosebumps when I heard „Now more than ever“. I believe God honours that infinitely, because you still trust, still believe, still hope. What a special way to honour God. My feeling is: God has stood up and said: ‘This is my daughter! She honours me, even though it would be so much easier to be frustrated. I’m so proud of her!’

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