Honey. Or: Back to everyday life
Today was my first day at work after my time in England. I hope that I can apply and develop the things I learnt there. So this day was my first real test of the new things in everyday life.
At lunchtime, a woman came by to pick something up. I asked her if she had anything she wanted prayer for. She said she would like to get her addiction to sweets under control. I prayed for it briefly. Then she had to leave. I was sad. I would have liked to have taken more time to talk and pray about how the behaviour patterns are internally linked and how they can be resolved. I found „just“ saying a short prayer almost unsatisfactory.
On reflection, it became clear to me that in many Christian circles it is considered a sign of a special divine anointing if you pray briefly and then - boom - something happens quickly. Of course it's great when something happens quickly. And I also wish I could heal broken legs or arms with a short, snappy prayer. At the same time, I was also glad that I was able to take time in prayer for Jayne, who has struggled with obesity, arthritis, etc. It was a healthy, solid process in which she learnt a lot and was strengthened - and so was I.
Jesus often healed people quite quickly. Sometimes - for example with a blind man - it was a prayer with several prayer steps. With other people - such as the woman at the well - a longer conversation brought deep spiritual and emotional change and healing. Presumably there will always be both side by side: quick, dramatic intervention by God. Longer processes in which God works just as powerfully.
Because the publisher had a deadline that we wanted to meet, I spent the whole afternoon looking through my devotional book Danke, Leben! It took longer than planned, so the afternoon in the sun with openness for dialogue and God's guidance came to nothing. That too is everyday life.
So it was all the nicer when a woman approached me on the way to the organic market - I was beaming. Beaming after 3 hours of manuscript proofreading? Did she see something of Jesus in me? I hope so! I couldn't think of a really clever retort. I'm still practising. But I was happy anyway.
I actually wanted to go shopping for honey. But I felt that Jesus was saying „No!“ No loud talking, more like an inner brake „Don't do it!“ I know him well enough to listen to such impulses, thought he might want to watch out for my slim line - what was that about sweets? In the evening, a friend came round and said: „To sweeten your start in Berlin!“ How nice. I was particularly pleased because my bank account is quite strained at the moment due to high account and shipbuilding costs. And I was just happy not to have spent money on honey that I don't need for the time being.
We shared our experiences and the desire to grow in the supernatural - as she says - or in the natural work of God, as I now call it. She told me that she had been on a plane and - in order to practise - asked God for a word of knowledge for the person sitting next to her. She heard „His marriage needs strengthening!“ The small problem: he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. She didn't really feel like having a conversation with a stranger, preferring to have her peace and quiet.
When I thought about it, I felt a lot of sadness. I thought: She may have missed a chance to learn - even if it had been „wrong“, it would have been an opportunity to learn to discern God's speech more clearly. God often speaks, but we can't interpret it exactly. And then I thought how sad it is that the uncertainty and possible lack of empathy may have led to a missed opportunity to touch another person with God's love. God had shown me in England that the key to experiencing his work is compassion and faith. If we ultimately don't care about people, then no matter how much faith we have, we will probably experience little of God's wonderful work.
For me, Matthew 14:22 is one of the most terrifying passages in the Bible that I know. „Immediately afterwards (after the feeding of the 5,000), Jesus told his disciples to get into their boat and go ahead to the other side of the lake. He himself stayed behind to see the people off.“
That's terrible for me because, as a speaker, I can vividly imagine what it was like. When I give talks or seminars, I usually give it my all. All the spiritual, emotional and physical energy I have. After that, I often run out of steam! When people come and want to tell me personal things or thank me or ask for prayer again, I want to be there for them. As best I can. But then I can often hardly cope any more.
Jesus had preached for hours that day, organised and multiplied dinner for 5,000 people - and then he sent his disciples off. And he said goodbye to the people. Shaking a few hundred hands. Hearing „That was really cool with the loaves and fishes“ dozens of times, then a few dozen more requests: „Can you heal my daughter...“ „Please bless my child...!“ He was certainly full of longing for rest and time with his heavenly one, but stayed to say goodbye - out of love for the people. Until they were finally all gone and he could climb the mountain to be alone with his father. Unfortunately, from up there he could see that his disciples were in distress. So he got back down the mountain and walked across the water. The disciples saved...out of mercy and compassion.
Of course we also need breaks. And God doesn't want us to exhaust ourselves. Nevertheless, if we want to experience God, it is essential that we create space in our hearts for the people he wants to touch through us.
The second thought I had was that many of the „hero stories“ of people God uses go like this: „I had a word of knowledge, told the unknown person: You have this or that problem...She cried out in amazement: „Yes, that's right....“, burst into tears and gave her life to Christ!“
Of course it can go like this sometimes. But why not just start a conversation: „Are you travelling on business?“ „Do you have a family? What's it like for you to be away from your family so much for work?“ „Ah, it's hard for you? That doesn't surprise me. I am a believer and earlier, before we left, I prayed and felt that God was telling me that he wanted to strengthen your marriage. May I pray for you and your family.“ That's how it works.
