Discovering life: holes, leaks and connections

Was I alive today?

Yes!

What new things have I learnt about life?

A leak is only a leak if it is under water. Until now I thought: A hole is something through which air comes in. A leak is something through which water comes in. Today I realised that this definition is not quite correct. A hole is only a leak if it is below the waterline. I don't have a leak at the moment - that's reassuring. But I do have a hole through which water is coming in. Not in huge quantities, but dripping.... The hole is at the

Lower edge of the bulwark rail. A bulwark rail is a kind of shock absorber that runs around the ship. It stabilises the ship and also has the advantage that you have some distance when you dock somewhere. The bulwark rail is hollow. This means that if there is a hole somewhere at the top, it can collect somewhere inside the wall rail - usually at the lowest point - and then sooner or later rust through the walls....I'm currently experiencing this at one point. Which means: find a hole. Dry the inside of the wall rail as well as possible ( = practically impossible), weld broken areas. I hope it's not too bad....

What have I learnt about myself?

I make deep connections with people - that can also touch me deeply. It's a bit like the holes and leaks in a ship - where something is open, something can flow through. And I seem to have a particularly large number of openings to people. I don't know why that is, but I find that I can let people get close to my heart. Some people have told me that they only have capacity for one or two people with whom they feel very close. I find that sometimes it only takes a few encounters for people to nestle deep in my heart. Sometimes a coaching conversation in which a person talks very openly about themselves - as I experienced again yesterday - and plop - they have already fallen into my heart....and the closeness and connection that I feel remains.

That is often beautiful. And sometimes painful. Like this week. On Sunday, Bernd, who has helped me so much on the boat over the last few months, had a stroke. I'm grateful that the operation went well, but I'm sad that he's not doing well. His right side and speech centre need healing and reanimation - surely also by a miracle - for what the doctors can't do.

Then on Monday I received the news that the grandson of a dear friend had died. We had been praying for months for the premature baby whose lungs wouldn't develop...and although I never saw him - he was in hospital all his life - I took the little man very much to my heart.... and I cried and still cry when I think about the fact that his family has to go on living without him. My heart has a leak (or hole) and it's dripping through. Even though he is now guaranteed to discover unexpectedly beautiful worlds. Without pain, beeping machines and so on.

And then came the news on Friday that Esther Lanz had gone home. Esther and her husband Manfred are among the authors of Down to Earth. After decades as a performance-orientated and driven person, Manfred suddenly made the discovery: „There is a Father in heaven who loves me. Who loves me. Who loves ME. Who loves! Without demands or expectations. One who simply loves. The two of them then continued to discover, explore and enjoy the love of the heavenly Father together. And wrote about it. Your Quadro "God's fatherly love“ is one of our publishing house's bestsellers - and has helped countless people to let God's love touch their hearts more.

I cried when I heard that she had lost her battle with cancer. It's just sad - for Manfred, the children, all the people to whom she was a mother and comforter and companion. I would have liked to have had her here on earth for longer...I don't understand it.

Connection to people hurts - when people suffer pain and I sympathise...and it takes me with it.

That's one side of it. The other is that life flows through every connection....living, wonderful, beautiful life!

Like the card I received yesterday from a woman I don't even know personally yet, but who is connected to me through this blog, my books and Quadros. She wrote me a loving card, enclosed a banknote with the request/permission to use it for something I wouldn't otherwise be able to afford.... an item of clothing, a meal out, a trip to the cinema or theatre. And said it was to remind me that God wanted to tell me: „I will provide you not only with the essentials and what you need for life or your ship, but also with everything else you want and what is good for you.“

Another woman wrote to me: With 2 Kings 6:16: „Do not be afraid, for there are more of those who are with you than of those who are with them.“ (Note: The quote comes from a text that - in a siege situation - was spoken by a wise man to another man who was scared shitless). I send you my warmest blessings for a good start to November

That feels so good!

THANK YOU!

Life is rich - sometimes rich in pain - and often rich in treasures.