36 questions to experience closeness and falling in love

No, I haven't fallen in love again. But I would like to. It's such a nice feeling to be close to another person and then possibly deepen your relationship.

But - even if it Love Although it may be possible to fall in love at first sight, it usually takes time and space to create the feeling of closeness and connection that often forms the basis for falling in love.

So it's no surprise that one in three relationships among the over-30s are formed at work - that's where you spend a lot of time and can get to know each other. Too bad if, like me, you work alone most of the time.

The experiment: more proximity in the lab

What to do? In addition to the usual ideas such as group holidays, leisure activities, etc., a Experiment by the American psychologist Arthur Aron fascinated him. He wanted to test the hypothesis that mutual openness and vulnerability promote trust in the long term.

To do this, he brought two people who had never met before into a room. They sat opposite each other and were asked to answer 36 questions of increasing depth. This began with questions such as: "Which person in the world would you like to invite to dinner?", but became more personal from question to question without ever slipping into embarrassment.

When he interviewed the participants a few months after the experiment, they felt still felt a great intimacy with the other person. And not only that: although the experiment took place in ugly, neon-lit rooms that were in no way conducive to romance, several participants fell in love with each other and became a couple.

The experiment: closeness in life

The New York journalist Mandy Len Catron to try out whether the questions could not only be used to build closeness, but also to fall in love. She invited a colleague to the experiment who she liked but wasn't in love with. Over the course of the four hours it took them to answer the 36 questions, that changed. The two became a couple.

That is the experience, that they shared with many otherswho took part in the proximity experiment. The goals were different. Some wanted to discover the existing partner more deeply, and the Strengthening relationships, which I think is wonderful. Others wanted to deepen a friendship and still others wanted to see if they would fall in love.

Of course, not everyone fell in love, but feeling closer to someone is a gift in itself.

I found this so fascinating that my team and I decided to create a free e-book with the 36 questions I have made. I hope that it will inspire many of you and lead old or completely new relationships into the depths.

And I myself am curious to see who will be the first person I ask the 36 questions.

And I would be very interested to hear what you think about the questions and your experiences with them. I look forward to your comments.