The nightmare becomes a dream

Five years ago, I was at an absolute low point. It looked as if my dream was about to come true. Then the nightmare caught up with me - in the form of German bureaucracy.

In my book Cast off I have described this dark moment:

"There's a stamp missing!" "Blood pressure below 28" the two terrible sentences kept pounding in my ear, hitting my head like hammers, clutching my heart. "There's a stamp missing from your transport licence. You are not allowed to continue with your ship!" "Kerstin, your father has been hospitalised with a blood pressure of under 28."

I had thought that the worst was behind me. It was challenging enough to get the ship ready for the journey from Hamburg to Berlin: Leaks and weak points in the metal had to be found and repaired - in three long, bone-chillingly cold, minus 20 degree winter months. The reward was the longed-for certificate of buoyancy. The barge remains afloat - officially confirmed.

From dream to nightmare

The journey from Hamburg to Berlin was a dream: we crossed the Elbe on the trough bridge near Magdeburg. Seeing the majestic river in the morning light from high up on the roof of the wheelhouse was unreal. a dream! "Nothing can go wrong now," I thought, "We'll be in Berlin in two days!"

A mistake! I hadn't reckoned with the German bureaucracy. It caught up with us at 15.55 at the lock near Brandenburg an der Havel.

A water police officer had seen our pushed convoy - that's what you call a combination of a push boat and another vessel without its own propulsion. He wanted to check whether the connection between the push boat and my ship was stable enough. It didn't matter to him that we had already made good progress across the Elbe, which was far stormier and busier than the tranquil Havel, even on calm summer days. In the end, however, he also made the judgement that the connection was stable.

The second problem was more serious, of a magnitude that would push a German official to the limit: "There's a stamp missing here!" he said, pointing with a critical eye to the spot in question. It said: "Stamp and signature." However, the official who had issued the document had signed it, but not officially stamped it. "The document is not valid without a stamp. You are not allowed to continue driving!

Powerless. Against bureaucracy. Small-mindedness. Fearful officialdom. I like to say "An adventure is a Crisisthat you have chosen for yourself." But even for my taste, that was a bit too much crisis.

A nightmare rarely comes alone

In the midst of the tension, my mother called me: "Your father has been admitted to hospital. His pulse was under 28 " I knew just enough about medicine to know that a pulse should be 80 rather than 28. I realised that you can fall over at any time with such a low pulse.

I later found out that the doctor treating my father hadn't even allowed him to walk the 100 metres from his surgery to the hospital: "Every step you take could be your last! I'll call an ambulance."

I lay on the mattress we had laid on the bare steel floor in the ship's "saloon" and brooded and cried: "Will Dad make it?" "Will we make it?" "Is it all over now?" "What will happen next?"

I couldn't find an answer."

So much for the abridged extract from the book.

From nightmare to dream fulfilment

All the details and how it works with the Ship You can read about what happened next in my new book: Cast off. How I built a houseboat in the centre of Berlin to live my dream. 

Of course, I don't deny that the one or other nightmare will crop up on the way to the dream. But I hope that with this book I can encourage many people to track down their dreams and live them.

Get the book - with a personal message of encouragement from me if you like - here.

…

What do you think of my dream?

And: What is your dream?

Please tell me in the comments!