Staying calm - time out part 2
The first part of my time away was characterised by encounters, inspiration and life: Two in-depth conferences / seminars, four different cities, encounters with people and places that I like.
Now I'm in Switzerland, I have a small one-bedroom flat to myself (but with a connection to the family if I like). There's a lot more peace on the outside. Not necessarily on the inside. A number of situations put me under pressure,
catch up with me.
- Publisher: I have a great team, and I'm enthusiastic about what we do and develop. But what we earned in 2012 was enough to cover the costs and pay me a small salary, but not enough to pay off the high investments we made in 2011 for ebooks and the new shop. Not being able to get rid of debt is a burden for me.
- Personal Finances: I have to pay back two loans (totalling 5,000 euros) at the end of December - and I don't yet know what from.
- The Ship project still inspires me. But there are also frustrations. For example, the leaks and the presumably high additional costs that I will have to face. And practical challenges. To be able to transport the ship to the shipyard, we need a generator to run the pumps in an emergency - should we leak. I saw one on eBay that was PERFECT.... I bid quite a lot 30 seconds before the end - and was outbid at the last second..... I'm totally sad and disappointed. And at a loss: we need the generator for the beginning of January and it's not that easy to find one.
- Compassion: In my immediate environment, two people who are very close to me have HUGE PROBLEMS....
It's quite difficult for me to stay calm in all of this. My thoughts are spinning, searching for solutions.
The day before yesterday I spoke to a friend on the phone about this. She reminded me of a situation she had experienced. She had been close to burnout a few years ago and had therefore been prescribed a cure. On the first (!) day of the cure, her mother was suddenly admitted to hospital and it wasn't clear whether she would have to stop the cure to look after her mother. She was desperate because she needed the rest so badly. We spoke on the phone at the time. In a fit of wisdom, I had told her.
„You have to stay in the present. That's your challenge.“
She reminded me of that now. She's right. You have to think constructively about some things and look for solutions. But in general, brooding doesn't help. It only distracts you from what's happening now.
I would now like to
- Meet my God
- Enjoy the silence and nature
- enjoy encounters with people and be fully present.
That is my challenge.
If you want to support me, you are welcome to do so.
- Prayer: Just say a prayer for me every now and then....
- Practical help publisher: If you still need (Christmas) presents for yourself and others, please buy them from us at the Shop in. I particularly recommend the TEILEN 2013 calendar, of which we still have a lot and which is beautiful. The simply and simply a series of books (a great gift) and of course the impulse booklets and Quadros....
Practical help ship: Apart from finances :-), I mainly need practical help and materials. If you can imagine spending a few hours, days or weeks on the ship in 2013, please let me know. And if you have any building materials or equipment that could be used for the renovation and that you could give me for free or at low cost, please let me know. There is a lot that I can use: Sanitary equipment, floors, flower boxes, mattresses, bedding, kitchen, 3 stoves (with heat storage), water filter systems.....Just ask.
Wisdom: And yes....f you have a wise word or thought, just let me know.
I am still on my „sprint through the Bible“ with the wilderness wandering and found it comforting to read today that God sometimes let the people go hungry and sometimes fed them to show them that they are not dependent on material things, but on his guidance and his speech. (Deuteronomy 8:3 )
He humbled you and made you hungry, and fed you with food that you and your fathers had never known, that he might make known to you that man does not live by bread alone, but by everything that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD.
That's what I want to focus on. Today. And in the coming days.
Dear Kerstin,
„Staying in the present“ is not always easy even in good times - and even less so in difficult times, because it is unfortunately all too human for our thoughts to immediately turn to the future, which is not under our control.
I think it's great that you share your thoughts so concretely with us readers and also let us know specifically how we can support you.
I also pray for you...that your trust in God
continues to grow and you can approach the next tasks without worry.
And that you have God very close to you right now, during your „Advent break“ - and can draw a lot of strength from this for the next projects.
All my love,
Petra:)
Thank you....your empathy does me good. THANK YOU for your prayers. It does me good not to walk this path alone.
Dear Kerstin,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Sounds very challenging.
I've been going through similar inner processes since the summer of .... and it's really not easy to stay calm! At the moment I sometimes say: Oh yes, sister restlessness, I feel you are there, that's ok, but I don't want you to control me!
Desert times - no matter what kind - are always difficult times! It is important to get to know the „hidden God“. Kind regards !
Dear Kerstin,
You don't know me, but I've already read a few things from you, most recently an article in „Aufatmen“ about your planning day with God. It inspired me a lot. I am happy to pray for you and for God to give and/or show solutions. - I read the story of Joseph. I am concerned with the statement „But God was faithful“ when Joseph was innocently imprisoned (because he was faithful to God!). Actually, I imagine God's faithfulness differently...
Best wishes and have a good time
Barbara
Dear Barbara - thank you .... for your kind words...and the thoughts about Joseph...they are great .... and encouraging! And thank you for your prayers!
Hello Kerstin,
I haven't written anything to / for you for so long, even though I read your blog etc. from time to time.
There is one of those sentences in the Bible that for me is like poetry from the other reality: God has taken your wandering through the desert upon his heart. (Deuteronomy somewhere :-) Deserts are usually stupid, really stupid, and sometimes they are so incredibly mysterious, captivatingly impressive and they can be green ... (if I hadn't experienced it myself, I wouldn't dare to write something like that) I wish you EVERYTHING, that you can continue to see and experience that it will be good. Best wishes, elisabeth
THANK YOU for the kind words...it's really good for me....and I also experienced it once in the Sahara, how it bloomed.....totally beautiful....Thank you for the good wishes.
Dear Mrs Hack,
They make great books - so of course it pains me all the more that the problems are piling up like this. During these weeks, I am often comforted by the words from the hymn „How shall I receive you“: „Be of good cheer, you have help at the door; he who feeds and comforts your hearts is always here.“
Thank you so much for the kind, compassionate words. I am practising handing over the things that bother me to God every day (and leaving them there).... the lines from the song are really very encouraging. THANK YOU!!!