Discovering life - hard and tender

Have I been alive today / in the last few days?

Yes!

- What new things have I discovered about life?

People always argue about strategies – rarely about objectives. Yesterday I watched the – highly recommended – film „The Butler“, which describes the life of a butler in the White House from the 1960s to the present day. Particularly moving: both he and his son wanted to see an improvement in living conditions for people of colour. However, they had very different ideas about how this should be achieved. The father tended to take a wait-and-see approach, whilst the son was more inclined to become politically active. Although they shared the same goal, their strategies differed. This led to arguments and a rift between them.

Non-violent communication always emphasises how important it is to make transparent the need that lies behind strategies. In this case, for example, the need for respect and appreciation. If that need is deeply understood and accepted, it is sometimes possible to find common strategies to fulfil it. Sometimes, however, this is not the case.

– What new things have I discovered about myself?

I need tenderness to balance out harshness….  The last few weeks have been tough. Sick staff, hard work, serious misunderstandings, meticulous calculations, tough decisions, hard work on my tax return, and severely tense muscles. Even the material on the ship is as hard as steel, and you can only tackle it with determination. Last night, I dreamt that someone told me I needed gentleness.

So I’ve declared this week ‘Tender Week’. I’m going to wear soft, delicate clothes, look at autumn flowers and leaves, let the wind blow across my face and let the sun warm my face when it’s shining,  work a little less hard, listen to gentle, warm cello music, have a warm shower, drink coffee with soft milk foam and eat chocolate marshmallows (deliciously soft sugar foam!)… and, as best I can, be gentle with myself – in my thoughts and actions.